Sacred 2:Book 1 - Orcish Cooking

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From The Art of Cooking
Book 1

Orcish Cooking

At first glance, Orcish cooking seems pretty plain and simple. There are not exactly many detailed and elaborate recipes to be found in the Orc cuisine. Maybe this is one of the reasons why Orcish food has become increasingly popular in the civilized areas of Ancaria during recent years. People are fed up with sophisticated, strange dishes and they want to experience the taste of nature and wilderness. Back to the roots! Or should we say: Back to the meat?

In every bigger town, there is at least one Orcish restaurant these days. More and more people seem to enjoy the unusual and exotic taste of Orcish food in combination with real event gastronomy like bar-room brawls, eating with hand and scimitar and beating up the cook after the meal. Of course, the food in those restaurants is slightly tweaked and adjusted to civilized standards. Orcs are occasionally eating things that many people would consider inedible. Many of them do not even have a name in our language, some not even in Orcish. This book have been written to give you an overview of the Orcish way of cooking and we would like to make you curious about this very special kind of food.

There are a few basic principles for Orcish cooking. The grand Orcish chef Gkratulak once described the philosophy of Orcish cooking in his (admittedly very short) book "Orc Food for Every Day" (3. ed.)

"Kill living being and cook it."

Note, that in the Orcish language, there is no specific word for cooking. The corresponding word "hthak" describes the general process of preparing food. The condition of the food when it is being eaten does not really matter, neither does the type of animal. Also, the removal of skin, fur, feathers or scales is optional.

Although the above quote is - in the true charm of Orcish tongue - a little short-spoken, the principle still holds true: Orcish cookery requires meat. Lots of meat! The more the better. There simply is no Orcish dish without meat. Or the other way round: it is not easy to find something in an Orcish dish that's NOT meat. There is an Orcish saying. They say: Karukh nah erak. Karuki toptzak an erak. (translation: If it doesn't move, eat it. If it moves, hit it. Then eat it.)

When it comes to beverages, the Orcish cuisine is even more straightforward. Orcs are drinking beer or - if they are too young for beer (1-3 years) - water. After a good feast however, they sometimes enjoy a liquor called "Chuke", but the recipe for this drink seems to be a secret and it is generally considered venomous for non-Orcish beings.

Now, without any further ado, here is a typical three course Orcish dinner for your cooking pleasure. The following recipes are all taken from Gkratulaks famous book. As most of them are usually quite simple, we decided to make adjusted versions for each dish. You will find the adjusted version for refined palates below the original recipe.

Starter: Long-eared fast-thing

Original: Kill long-eared fast-thing and cook it.

Adjusted:

• 1 rabbit, cut into pieces
• 1 onion
• 2 1/4 cup flour
• salt
• pepper
• cooking oil

Brown onions in cooking oil. Dredge rabbit pieces in flour, salt and pepper. Put oil, onions and rabbit pieces into a frying pan and cook until the rabbit pieces are browned on all sides. Take out the meat and make a sauce from the oil and onions by sprinkling in flour. When the gravy is brown, add some water and return the rabbit meat into the mixture. Cook until sauce thickens.

Main course: Bristly Grunting Thing

Original: Kill bristly grunting thing. Remove teeth. Cook it.

Adjusted:

• 1 wild boar
• 50 onion
• 10 garlic
• 20 liters of beer

Remove the boar hide and let the boar bleed dry. Open it and remove all guts and organs. Fill with onions and garlic. Place on a spit and over a fire. Spin around for 9-10 hours. Baste with beer frequently during the roasting process.
The wild boar is ready when the eyeballs begin to drop out.

Dessert: Cackling Thing

Original: Kill cackling thing. Remove beak and feet. Cook it.

Adjusted:

• 1 chicken
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup honey
• 1/2 cup mace
• 1/2 teaspoon cloves
• 1/2 ginger
• 1/4 cup almonds

Pluck the chicken and remove all guts, head, feet and organs. Put honey, mace and sugar into a bowl and stir well. Apply the mixture to the chicken. Put the chicken into the oven and leave to roast until the skin is gold/brown.